Man uses Subway "footlong" to measure snowfall

Buzz Weathersbee considers himself a snow-stalker. When most people hate snow because of shoveling, driving, and the cold, Buzz roots for it every chance he gets.

"You've heard of storm chasers. Well I love the snow. I work from home and have the kid down the street shovel for me so it don't bother me. Always been a fan too. Even as a boy my mother once left me in a snowbank for 6 hours. I became immune to the cold!"

The sandwich shop Subway has recently been criticized for false advertising; their famous footlong sandwhich didn't quite measure 12 inches in length. Buzz found a great use for some sandwhiches.

"I plunge em right into the snow. Helps me measure how much fell. Take this recent storm for example. According to Subway footlong math or SFM as I like to call it...that's patent pending by the way so don't even think about taking it...why according to SFM logic we got a whopping 5 feet of snow! That's pretty much a record."

What about the actual ruler?

"Well that says it only snowed a couple of inches. But that's sissy math. Who follows what an actual ruler says?"

Everyone.

"See by using SFM...again that's trademarked...people get what they want. I love more snow, it makes me happy. Some gals want to be taller. Using SFM they can be. And I don't have to tell you how nice my, you know what, looks next to a footlong meatball sub. Hahaha. My wife will concur."

There you have it. Eating is not the only use for Subway sandwiches.


MATSUIFAN INC. 2007