Yankees fan hopes they sign Bernie Williams to replace Granderson

Ernie Dills was at Sunday's game when Curtis Granderson got hit and he has an idea about how to fill in for him while he recovers.

"I was sitting over in the bleachers for crying out loud. Of course I have a solution." he said as he spilled his beer. "I heard the ball hit Grandy, then I got out my phone and did some research. I am no dummy." he added.

But Ernie is actually in fact a dummy. We checked. He graduated from middle school when he was 34 years old, thinks hot dogs are healthy and still rides his bicycle to work.

"I work at an ice cream parlor. We serve vanilla and chocolate. Sometimes I put ice cream in my pockets to eat it later." he added for no apparent reason.

With Granderson going down, what will the Yankees do for power we asked him.

"Bernie Bam Bam Williams. You are a moron for not thinking of it. I did and I am smart. I eat one bag of pennies and people call me an idiot. I have $3.34 in my stomach. Who is the idiot now?"

We are not sure what he was talking about, but we know Bernie is not the answer. The Bronx Bombers are in serious need of power.


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